Monday 5th October
Today is the twenty fifth anniversary of the glorious day of my birth. Spent most of the day an emotional wreck at the thought of not seeing baby Jack until Christmas. Then to top it all off I went in to say goodbye to Grandad. Well needless to say there was snot flying everywhere. I couldn’t even breathe. And then HE started crying. I nearly called the whole thing off! Headed up to Dublino to spent the night at Mark’s.
Tuesday 6th October
Wake up at to get ready to go to the airport. Didn’t sleep properly all night, kept waking up with those stabbing stomach pains you get all night the night before you go to Oakwood. You know the ones- the excitement of going on all the deadly rollercoasters mixed up with the anxiety of having to take the vomit comet to get there.
Get to the airport about 5 and check in my bags and pay my 228 euro overweight fee because I’m a knob and I paid for two cases, which I thought could be 20kgs each, but no, they have to be a combined weight of 20kg. Sneaky fuckers – I’m disappointed in you, AerLingus. In fairness now the lovely woman was apologizing over and over and she undercharged me. In the end though I didn’t mind paying it, it’s just a once-off thing, plus it would have been a giant pain in my ass to have the couriered over. When I’m coming home I’m going to get someone over for a visit and then we can go home together, with one case each. Problem solved.
So I arrived at
I traverse on to
Got up the room anyway. In essence it’s grand, or at least it will be after 2-4 litres of bleach. And it’s really DUSTY. I felt like I was raiding the lost ark walkin in through the door. Settled down and went for a quick nap….and woke up at the next morning.
Wednesday 7th Oct
Spent most of the day warding off a sudden and intense feeling of loneliness I got after I realized I only knew 1 person in the whole of
Thursday 8th Oct
Get up early and go down to the accommodation office to get my internet sorted out. Yer wan is just after arriving so she has to switch on the computer to get my username and password. The computer is warming up, and then…BAM! A semi naked picture of George Clooney in a wet pair of boxers comes up on the screen with George written under it. Well if I didn’t piss on myself then I never will! And she an oul wan like. With pink eyeshadow and two black lines drawn in for her eyebrows. Brilliant.
Friday 9th Oct
Ok this is getting weird. By now I was expecting to have made 40 thousand friends from my floor alone. Every time I hear someone shuffling to the kitchen I go out to introduce myself and they are gone! It’s like someone is playing a tape of footsteps just to fuck with me. It’s all a bit Mary Higgins Clarke for my liking. I’m lonely now, no word of a lie. Me nerves are at me. I head down to the supermarket and buy 2 litres of bleach. Return to the room and scrub like there is no tomorrow. My room now smells like a swimming pool nestled deep in the heart of a pine forest. I like it.
Saturday 10th Oct
What the frick? Woke up in a blanket of dust. It’s like fuckin
“Ok,” I says to myself, “Tonight I’m going to go watch the
Went down to the telly room to watch the match and there were three other people there, basically all your common or garden variety of Knob. Then a thought struck me. I don’t want these people to be my friends! FUCK them! This year I’m here for myself and I’m just going to do what I want and fuck everyone else. If I just do what I want, then I’ll just pick up friends along the way. Feeling much better, all traces of loneliness vanished, I snuggled up in bed.
Sunday 11th Oct
Woke up in the middle of the night so freezing my nipples could have carved my initials into the ceiling. It’s no wonder, all that is on the bed is a sheet and a cover thing the likes of which I had on my bed in 1986. I really have to buy a duvet or something. For the time being I just unfolded two spare towels and lay them out over me. Satisfactory.
Later on I went down to the supermarket to pick up a duvet. Oh here they are, let me just check the price – NINETY
Then I wander around, map in hand, looking for a new running route. I tripped over a tree root and slapped off the ground, like actually ON the ground, lying down, legs akimbo at the back of some apartment block. But noone saw me, so as far as I’m concerned, it didn’t happen.
Well my first week was a week of extremes. At first I really felt miserable. I guess I just wasn’t in the mood to start all over again, but once I copped on to myself I was grand and now I’m feeling good about the year. Anyway I haven’t really given anything away here but I just want to let ye know that I’m up to shit. I will reveal all next week, in what is going to be a pretty interesting entry, if the way the week has already started out is anything to go by. Until then, children!