Well miraculously made it past the first week alive. The novelty has well and truly worn off so here's to an even tougher week.....
Saturday 19th January
Got up at the crack of dawn and went to the bank machine to withdraw fifty glorious euro. Twenty minutes and the groceries later and I'm down to thirty. D'oh! Bought a ten kilo sack of spuds and walked home with them over my shoulder. Cue a pre-famine themed week of meals.
Sunday 20th January
Got up early, went in and luxuriated in the shower. Was just massaging body lotion into my luscious milky white bod and Roommate comes strutting into the bathroom. I was like "Eh, well" and she just stood there frozen to the spot. In awe and wonderment, obviously. I said I'd be done in a minute and then when I was finished I walked past the kitchen and she shouted out after me "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy!" Hahahahahaha! She is learning, oh yes.
Monday 21st January
Well it turns out that having the internet in my apartment really was just a crazy wet dream. In the middle of registering for exams t'internet cut out and so did the phone line. As I write this we are still waiting for someone to come and fix it. Cue me having to return to Sala Borsa to use the free tintyweb amongst the underbelly of Bolognese society.
Tuesday 22nd January
Got up at the crack of dawn as usual to study for my exam and was happily sittin down at my desk workin away at 8.04 am when hammering and drilling started up in the apt over us which continued on until 5 pm. By the end of the day, I wanted to hit someone in the face with a shovel. Then I went to the bathroom and when I came out Roommate was in the kitchen "Ciao" she says "I've just taken your last two eggs. I thought you were in the gym." Now people. Consider for a moment my non-meat diet and how much those protein laden eggs were worth to me. Also consider that she has had a fucking Twix in the fridge for the last two weeks that taunts me every time I open the fridge door. Jesus, she's lucky I love her.
Wednesday 23rd January
Wake up from a nap to Roommate screaming for me. Run out into the hall in my knickers to save her, thinking she was being murdered by some kind of large-hoofed mammal only to find it was much worse. It was a cockroach. A COCKROACH! In the cleanest house in Bologna - nay, the world. Roommate was freaking out. Up on my back she nearly got. "It's ok girl" I said "Give me your shoe" "No" she says. No. And I standing there in me scunders. "You better get that shoe off your foot this second" So I killed it. But now Im scared that I angered his kinsmen and that they are assembling a small but powerful army to seek vengeance.
Thursday 24th January
Did a French exam. The less said about it the better. Then went to dinner party in the night, drank copiously and went out to club where he who from now on shall be known as "The Man" got so pissed that he latched onto three young impressionable boys and then left me and Fran to dance with them while he danced "The Man" on his own. Then, clearly delusional from grappa he told the boys that "She's mine", swiftly followed by "I toy with her". Now, if ever I doled out a Laser Death Stare, that was it. "I toy with her" ? I TOY WITH HER?! Just when did any of this fictional toying take place, I am wondering? Then stayed in Fran's house as The Man was too pissed to be a deterrent to small dogs, never mind murderers to take me home. I ought to punch him in the kidney.
Friday 25th January
Hurrah! Ive made it to Friday alive! But thats not all folks, oh no! I have a fiver left! Yesssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Delighted, am I? Eddie would be so proud of me now.
High Point this week: No longer crave fizzy drinks and sugary things. Except that Twix. It WILL be mine!
Low Point: Can't afford bus ticket so have to make the 45 minute trek into town and then back on foot, and the battery (now a "luxury item") went in my mp3 player and I can't function as a human being without music so every morning I cunningly steal the battery out of the DVD remote control and use it in my mp3 player and then I sneak it back in before Oriana comes back from work. I know. Im a bad person.
The C words
1 day ago