Monday, April 12, 2010

Week Twenty Seven

This week I have the pleasure of introducing you to my new favourite weblog - The Loving Spoonful by the lovely Niamh. This is a brand spanking new food blog and lads her recipes are deadly! I love the way she writes, too. Basically I want to marry her. Meseff and Himseff are gone mad into the new recipes lately and our eyes are after wearing two holes in this girl's blog already! Om nom nom!

Now let's get down to business.

Monday 5th April

After four lovely days at home which were mainly filled with BBB's excited voice saying "Take a picture! Take a picture!" we headed up to the Big Smoke and checked into our hotel. You can only imagine our delight after four nights spent sleeping in seperate beds (I was grand actually because I had my electric blanket, but poor BBB had the sofa bed that his feet stick out the end of) when we walked into our room to discover our uber bed!

The joy! The delight!

And in true BBB style he exclaims "Look at this bed! Take a picture!" And so I did:

We spent our first night lurking around the city and taking in the sights before I introduced him to the WONDER that is the €1.99 chicken fillet roll from Centra. €1.99 for a tasty and filling roll - shur what more could you ask for?

Not cheese, cos that's 65c extra.

Tuesday 6th April

Today we went to the Guinness Storehouse. Lads, it was deadly. Usually I hate and am bored by touristy shite like factory tours but this was actually brilliant! Needless to say BBB couldn't cope. And I couldn't cope with how delighted he was. Shur God love him.

After the tour we went for lunch in what is probably my favourite restaurant in Dublin. I love it because I like the food in there, but there is just this one thing that irks me. For the most part, the staff are lovely and friendly, but one or two of them just give me ire. Like for example, the fella who met us at the door to seat us.

Now for the record, I think it's important when you work in a shop or some other public place to be nice and friendly at all times, but there is such a thing as being too friendly. Like as in over the top fake friendly. As in "I'm deadly cos I work here and I act like I own the place so I'm going to act overly familiar towards you" friendly, like the fella who seated us was. There was something in that laid back Bon Jovi mid '80's way he swaggered to the table as if he was seating us at the kitchen table of his own house that made me want to rip the poxy piercing out of his goatee'd chin.

I'd love to be like:

"Sorry do you know me? No? Oh. Right. No, it's just the way you're talking to me there that gave me the impression that you knew me. Now what are the specials?"

Anyway after lunch I was planning a major assault on Penneys. Needless to say I was going on and on about it, and BBB just didn't get it.

"I just don't understand why you are gettin so excited about a shop", he was saying.

"No, you just don't get it. Wait until we get there, and then you can judge."

We went into Penneys anyway and he was obediently following me through the aisles as I had my preliminary scan when we came to the shoe section, which is right next to the men's section.

"That T-shirt is nice", he said, pointing to the men's mannequin.

"Yeah it's lovely", I said.

"Wait it''s only four euro! Th.....this T-shirt is only four euro!" he goes.

"Yeah I know", I said.

"Look at this shirt! It's only NINE euro!" he squealed.

"BBB I know", I said.

"Here, hold my bag", says he, thrusting his belongings into my outstretched arms before bounding off into the clothing jungle.

"Look at this! No, this is nicer! Oh my GOD! SIX EURO! Jen - I have to try these on!"

Stop lads. He is so funny. I love shopping with him. He came proudly out of the changing room to model everything he picked. Every single thing he tried on looked amazing on him. I suppose that's what happens when you have a body like a fine cut diamond. In all the kerfuffle, I never got to look around or try anything on because we had to meet someone at 7, but we said we'd come back the next day for round two of the Penneys Grand Slam.

At 7 we met with a friend of BBB's and went for a few drinkypoos in the Hairy Lemon before going to meet my friends later at the Porter House. It was SO good to see them again. I have been kind of drifting along in the little world that I built for myself in Pavia so it was good to touch base again and see what everyone is up to. They are all crazy busy with their finals and the like, which made me all excited to get back to Dublin next year and finish up for myself.

After a while BBB and I decided we could drink no more and meandered home down Grafton street, accidentally getting a big mac meal and a triple whopper meal on the way.

Om nom nom.

Wednesday 7th April

Instead of the Penneys expedition we went on the free walking tour of Dublin, after which I ticked a major to do off my to do list when we met my cronies for lunch in the Gourmet Burger Kitchen. Lads, ANY burger and ANY drink for a tenner. I got the falafel burger which was scrumptious. My only qualm was that I couldn't pick it up and eat it burger style. I had to approach it with cutlery, which sort of sucks the joy out of the burger experience, to be honest.

In the afternoon we finally got back to Penneys but it was so packed and there was such a queue for the changing rooms I just couldn't face it. So we decided to just walk on through. I was absentmindedly looking around me so I wasn't really paying attention where we were going so I grabbed BBB's hand. It felt a bit small.

Suspiciously small.

I looked up.

I was holding some Indian fella's hand.

I didnt know how to react really. I'm not equipped for this kind of scenario. It hasn't happened to me since I was six and myself and Mammy were walking down Lady Lane in Waterford and I was off in a daydream and I went to hold Mammy's hand but I held some businessman's hand instead, WHO LEFT ME KEEP HOLDING IT until I copped on, and Mammy walking along behind us pissing herself with the laughing.

Anyway I just dropped his hand and turned to BBB who was bent double with the laughing, and the two of us nearly pissed our knickers laughing the whole way through Penneys.

After that we lurked around Dublino and then headed back to the room where BBB stayed while I went out and met my partner in crime for a drink, during which the most spectacular double-fail in history came into being.

We were sitting down minding our own business by the door of the pub, which, incidentally, was glass (can you guess where this is going?), but was CLEARLY marked with the name of the pub on it in sticker and a big steel handle. Anywho... the next thing this big poncey eejit swaggers down to the door, fag in mouth, pint in hand and WALKS STRAIGHT INTO THE DOOR. I am talking pint all over his t shirt, concertina'ed fag in his mouth like. He turned around and ran back up to his friends laughing. But he wasn't laughing as hard as we were, oh no.

About a half an hour later anyway he decided to come back for more punishment, the glutton. He sauntered down to the door and turned around to all his friends and goes "Look, it o-pens", in a fake-retard voice WHILE PROCEEDING TO PULL INSTEAD OF PUSH. So in fact, it didn''t open, oh no. He realised his mistake and quickly pushed the door and went outside, pretending it didn't happen while everyone inside the pub was inwardly dying of the awkwardness.


Thursday 8th April

Well today is the stinky day that we have to go back to our hovel in Pavia after our lovely holiday.

Some bollix.

But I have to say I'm really looking forward to going back to Dublin in a few months. I love living in Dublin. Everyone always says "Oh I hate Dublin", but that is only because they have never lived there. As much as I am looking forward to going back to Dublin, it makes me a bit sad to think that my time here is slowly coming to a close.

Anyway we got back to Pavia and I went straight to work. I came home then and died a merry death in the bed.

Friday 9th April

Today I had the pleasure of meeting Laura's lovely parents. Now first let me outline the fact that I LOVE Laura. I think she was put on this earth to do fun activities with me and just generally be a lovely and admirable person in my vicinity.

Well after meeting her parents I know why she is like that. As we say in the Deise - she's from good stock, boy. Her parents are only edible! Her mother, first off, is a SUPERMODEL. I nearly fainted down dead on the floor when I saw her! I mean I saw pictures of her before so I knew she was gorgeous but in the flesh - I couldn't cope! Her beauty was hurtin my eyes like! And as for her Daddy - shur wouldn't you only run away with him! And didn't he whip out photies of Laura when she was little - he is so proud of her. Stop now lads, I was gettin a lump in me throat. Sadly, Laura said she was feeling dodgy so we went our separate ways.

Saturday 10th April

I texted Laura to see how she was and she was on her death bed. She was up all night sick she says. That's very unlike her now, she must have a stomach flu or whatnot.

I got her crackers to be munchin on in the supermarket and I called over to check she was still alive. She was. Only a small bit though. She was in bits, the poor thing, so meseff and himseff ran down to the pharmacy to get her some smelling salts and the like. I felt so sorry for her. I gave her a big cuddle cos I loves her.

Big mistake.

Sunday 11th April

Today meseff and himseff minded our business all day and then he made lovely focaccia and we sat down and had our dinner. Then I settled in to watching a film on the 'puter.

Then suddenly, and without warning, I came down with a dose of the vapours. I was feeling a bit light headed, a bit nauseous. I thought it was because I've been eating too much bread and now my intestines were punishing me, but it quickly became clear that it was something way more sinister! Laura was definitely after giving me stomach AIDS.

I was rolling around on the ground moaning and roaring. This might sound dramatic but if any of you have ever had gastroenteritis you will know that this behaviour is entirely appropriate. Then it all came to a terrible head. It was Tramore all over again.

"BBB!" I was screaming from inside the bathroom.

"What's happening? Can I get you something? Water? Pills?" he was shouting from the other side of the door.

"Yeah Love, I really need you to...put on some music", I said.

"What kind of music?" he asks.

"I don't give a shit JUST PUT IT ON!!!" I roared.

As if I care what kind of music is drowning out the sounds of my retching.

"Ok, ok!", he goes and puts on some Florence and The Machine.

I wish he hadn't. I really love florence and The Machine. But now and for the rest of my life I will associate that album with pissing out my arse.



jac said...


in the knots im sorry! i LOVE when ppl do things like hold the wrong persons hand or call teacher mammy, or walk off with the woman in fronts trolley in the supermarket (darragh) these are the incidents that make me just delighted to be alive! damn, i wish i was there!

Jennikybooky said...

Hahahhhahaha aw Darragh!

Andrew said...

When Rosie or myself are headed to the jacks for what is likely to be an unpleasant and noisy time we ask the other one to lash on a bit of 'poo telly', or 'poo tunes', depending on which of the three rooms in out flat we're in. Not subtle, but it definitely spares some awkwardness.

On a tangent: you were in Dublin and you didn't call? Consider us gravely affronted.

Jennikybooky said...

Andrew, you me and Rosie are on the same page! Incidentally, my word verification is "whind". I think that's the word used to describe those little seepy farts that just whisper out of your arse - like "whhhh..."

Don't worry - in a few short months I'll be back in Dublin and you will have three big dirty years of me!

RoyMcC said...

Great stuff as ever Jenni. I lived in Dublin for 18 months and I can't believe how I miss it.

Niamh said...

Ah Jen! Thanks for the linky (and the lovely words, *blush*), you're a star!

Also the lady on the computer beside me thinks I'm a fuppin' weirdo 'cause I started pissing myself laughing at the bit where you caught the Indian fella's hand! So frickin' funny!

Jennikybooky said...

Thanks Roy! I know what you mean - I can't wait to get back to Dublin!

Haha no problem Niamh!Meseff and BBB are making your Bad Ass Brownies this weekend! Om nom nom! And as for the hand-holding incident, I didn't know whether to die of a) laughing or b) mortification!

Niamh said...

Yays! Hope they work out for you. They might need a bit more cooking time than I specified in the recipe, but just keep checking them.

Will have lots of lubbly food porn pics from Ballymaloe on FB later for your perusal and pleasure!

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you would come to Dublin and NOT TELL ME!!!
And I refuse to believe that anyone in the world has ever said they don't like Dublin.... c'est impossible!!!!!
And bless, yeah Penneys is heaven...scarlet for you with the Indian Dude though!lol!
What was the restuarant you were talking about?

Jennikybooky said...

Niamh - orange butter scones recipe - NOW!!!!

Hermia - oopsie! Don't worry though, I'll let you know when I am flying home for good so you can round up a cheering posse to meet me at the airport!

Radge said...

I don't visit here enough, I'm a useless tool. That was brilliant. You're going on my blogroll, that'll remind me to check in.

Here, what was the restaurant with the overfamiliar host?