Week Twenty Nine

I know, I know, no blog in two weeks! It's an outrage! But here's a nice fresh one so quit your bellyachin'!

Monday 26th April

Must not think about leaving BBB in a few weeks.

Must not think about that excruciating moment when the airport bus pulls out of the station and I have to wave goodbye for the last time in who knows how long. Must not think about pathetically sniffing whatever item of his clothing I secretly stole on my way to the airport. Must not think about that fact that I wouldn't care if it was a pair of underpants, I would sniff them anyway. Must not think about not waking up with my legs all tangled up in his. Must not think about how I won't be able to sleep if my hand isn't touching the top of his head. Must not think about the way I love him so much that sometimes I want to punch him in the face. Must not think about that gut punched feeling I will get when I see someone on some Dublin street that reminds me of him. Must not think about the way his hair gets all spiky in the shower. Must not think about the irritating way he gives me cooking advice even though he can't boil an egg. Must not think about the little side step he does when we are out and his underpants are up his arse. Must not think about the way he says 'menstruation'. Must not think about the way he paces back and forth at breakneck speed when he brushes his teeth.

Tuesday 27th April

Must not think about they way today after we saw a woman in a purple crushed velvet tracksuit with a severe black bob he said:

"She'd remind you of the fella out of The Chocolate Factory - Winky Wallah!"

Wednesday 28th April

Must not think about how every single time he gets undressed there is always a feather from our duvet sticking out from between the cheeks of his arse.

Thursday 29th April

Must not think about how at least one of his feet always sticks out from underneath the duvet:

Friday 30th April

Must not think about the way he went to Esselunga this evening in a pair of leggings just to buy our 89c prosecco.

Saturday 1st May

Must not think about the way he brought me home tonight on the handlebars of a stolen bike that he got for a cigarette because I wasn't well.

Sunday 2nd May

Must not think about how he rubs my head in the night when I can't sleep cos my hayfever is driving me crazy. Must not think about how the first thing he does in the morning is sweep up all my tissues from the night before. Must not think about the way he gives me a little love and a mind when I'm poorly.

But most of all, I absolutely must NOT, under any circumstances think about how it is best for him that we don't keep this going after I leave, no matter how much I want to, because at the end of the day he is 19 and he should be enjoying his time in college, not spend it missing me.

No I absolutely must not think about this.

Because that would just be too much.