Sunday, September 27, 2009

A Holiday, You Say?

Just back from 4 days in Pavia with my mudder. How did this come to be, I hear you asking? Let us sift backwards through the sands of last Tuesday fortnight.

Ok let me set the scene.....(dreamy harp music)

It's the afternoon and I'm in the kitchen with the baby. Mammy walks in.

Mammy: Well, I have a proposition for you.
Jen: What is it?
Mam: Will you go away with me somewhere?
Jen: What?
Mam: I really want to go away somewhere will you take me to Italy?
Jen: I don't think so Mam, I don't have long left at home like, and I want to stay here.
Mam: (dramatic injured face) oh....ok......
Jen: (winces as a giant pang of guilt stabs her in the heart) I mean I'm leaving anyway so I dont want to go anywhere, plus I have no money (pleased with her iron-clad excuse)
Mam: Well we can go to Pavia, we can see what it's like - I'll pay for everything!
Jen: (backed into a corner) Yeah ok.

So I mean it goes without saying I love my mudder to bits, I'd do anything for her etc etc, so one might deduce that I would enjoy spending time with her. Of course I would. In theory. In practice, however......

But shur look, I says to myself, it'll be grand. I don't really want to go because I don't have long left at home and I want to spend it with the baby, but Mammy really wants a holiday so I just think what harm shur, it'll be grand, and after all, she is paying for it....

Fast forward to a week later, and I'm pushing the buggy up the road with Mammy in tow.
"Jennie," she says.


"You know that holiday we're going on nect week?"


"That's your Christmas present, ok?"

Me nerves.

So anyway the deed has been done and I'm back now. 5 days and nights of undiluted Mammy. Now I love her, but ANYONE would wreck your head after that amount of time. We had a laugh alright, particularly when she was asleep and I put my foot on her face and she told me to "fuck off you dirty bitch", but even the little things she was doing were starting to get to me, like never walking next to me, choosing instead to walk 10 paces behind me at all times, like an Iraqi wife, as my sister would say. Not to mention that after she snoring the night away, I turn over like a delicate princess and she tells me to "stop horsing around in the bed". Horsing around in the bed. WTF like. I mean, nigga please! Of course now I was probably wreckin her head even more cos I was a ball of stress for the whole holiday, thinkin of all the things I had to do when I got home and the NO time I had to do them in!

And I warned her that from the second we got off the plane everyone would be staring at us. "I won't mind them - I'll just smile at them" she said, ire-givingly. Well we got off the plane and of course, everyone's eyes were out on stalks staring at our other-worldly beauty. "Jesus Christ", she says, "you'd swear we had two heads." Well I wasn't going to be the one to tell her that yes, we did, in fact, have two heads between us.

Mammies lads, what are they like? And shur what would we be like without them? Shur God love them like, they're only small.

EDIT: Lads, in the end I was SO glad I went over with Mammy! It was great to know exactly what I was doing and where I was going when I got over here on my own with all my baggage. And shur now I'm over here and I have all my friends but there's no one as good as your Mammy now is there? I love you Mammy!

Monday, September 21, 2009

A Good Omen

You know I've really been shitting it lately about heading off again into the unknown. Will I be lonely? God, I really don't want to be lonely. And if I do get lonely, I hope someone would come along and make sure I was never lonely or hungry again, not unlike the little kitten without a left foot:

Anyway, just as I was freaking myself out mulling over these negative aspects and not focusing on the positive ones, not realizing that certain situations change, that people move on and certain situations get left behind and wondering if I'd feel much happier if I went with the flow, or if growth and transformation were a big feature for me right now, I happened upon my horoscope for the week:

Instead of mulling over negative aspects, it's important to focus on the positive ones. It's a fact that situations change, people move on and certain things get left behind, but if you can be flexible and go with the flow, you'd feel much happier. Growth and transformation is a big feature for you right now.

So now - the Gospel according to Celebs on Sunday. My troubles are over!

To catalyze this growth and transformation, I have decided to load up my laptop with all new music from bands I have never heard of and would otherwise probably have dismissed had my mind not been blown wide open by the advent of the cosmic intermingling of the stars dismissing all my demons.

That's right people; new adventure, new soundtrack. What I want from you lovely people is some gentle guidance. Kindly grace me with your suggestions as to what avenues I should be fumbling blindly down. My mind is musically malleable and I am open to all suggestions - all I ask is that you be gentle with me.